Tuesday, March 27, 2012

MF Global ; Emails of Final Days Transactions Released..You Gotta See This!

Hot news flash...These emails between Jon Corzine and his Chief Financial Officer in Chicago were just released:
CFO: Jon , we're overdrawn again .
JC: Shit! Which bank ?
CFO : JP Morgan. Our "favorite overdraft institution ".
JC: Now I'm really pissed...It's going to cost us $30 in overdraft fees . I wonder, since I'm a a former Wall Street Titan, US Senator and Governor of N.J. , will they waive the $30 fee, or at least half ?
CFO: Jon, JP Morgan not happy. They're threatening to shut down our whole US Operation, embarass you, sling mud on your legacy and eventually force you to lie under oath if we don't cover the overdraft ASAP!
JC: Easier said than done. Hmm, can you float us a quickie loan personally ? Unsecured of course . Worst that can happen is it will get extinguished in Bankruptcy .
CFO: No can do . It's $220 million . Jon , can you lend us some $ from your "Goldman Sachs "mortgage backed securities account "?
JC: $220 million ? Holy shit . You think I'm going to use my own money socked away in "secret Swiss and Grand Cayman bank accounts " avoiding taxes to save this sinking ship ?
CFO: Any better ideas Chief ?
JC: Hold your horses, I'm thinking . (And while I'm busy thinking and stalling start destroying emails and bank records!)
CFO:Done! Well ?
JC: I got it . Why didn't I think of this before?
CFO: Not the old using customer $ , pretending you don't know where the money is really coming from and then if the "shit hits the fan" denying it till the end of the earth ?
JC: You mean we used this one before ?
CFO: Are you kidding JC ? It's your personal favorite . Has kept us going for the past 7 years . You should patent the process .
JC: Ok then . Let's do it ! Remember , I am Sgt Schultz here. I know nothing . Hey you know what? I think the regulators who I have in my pocket and those nitwits on Capitol Hill will buy it .Hopefully the Times will too . Ok, then I guess you know what to do.......

Wall Street reporter Steve Goldman signing off.

No comments:

Post a Comment