Masters Tourney ; Beautiful Courses, Great Event, But It's 2012..Don't You Think It's Time To Allow Woman Members?

I don't think anyone could dispute that the Masters Golf Tournament is Special. The courses are are a thing of beauty , immaculately maintained and with its "southern charm " it is the premier golf event in the world and a well-recognized major sporting event. Those who are not even regular PGA Golf watchers, I'm sure tune in to watch at least on Saturday and Sunday . The Tounament and it's prestige are comparable to Wimbledon .
So what is wrong ? I don't know. I get an uneasy feeling about a golf club and its members who only started admitting African-American members in 1990 to avoid a major public controversy. I'm sure they've employed African-American caddies, locker-room attendants, shoe shine personnel and greenskeepers. Don't you think? Now they refuse to admit woman as members . Do you think the members still engage in weird, old world rituals with with black robes, blindfolds and vows of secrecy ? Animal sacrifices ? Do you think when members' wives come to the "Club " for dinner and drinks they are blindfolded from the parking lot until they reach the coatroom?
What is the big fu_ in deal about admitting woman ?
You know what? It might even spruce things up ...The same old, pasty faces, wearing green jackets and striped pants downing Martinis or Johnny Walkers in darkened bars can get old real quick....Did anyone say time warp?
Ok, I got a compromise . How about admitting "redneck transgender members "? That would be a start! Who knows what would be next ?(shssh, a Jewish member(woman).Oy vey. Ok, let's not get wild and crazy. Time to consider important things like pin placement.

This has been "Redneck Golf Analyst " SF "Winthrop " Goldman reporting . And don't forget your 1960's polyester green sport jackets. "Fore "!

John Edwards' Pe__ker Getting Him in Trouble Again!

Well, one good thing former Senator Edwards has going for him, is that his first name ,"John" matches exactly what he's accused of doing. Yes, being a "John " . Edwards has been mentioned as being a customer of "Millionaire Madam" , Anna Gristina . Edwards, whose life has flipped upside down in recent years , allegedly "hooked "up with a " high-end lady of the night " while in New York during his Presidential Campaign "swing " several years ago. Swing being the key word here .
I can just see see his exchange with his Secret Service team leader.
Edwards: I have a meeting in an hour to work on my oral skills.
Team Leader: Should I send a detail ? You know I have to stay " on top of things ".
Edwards: Don't worry I'll stay " on top of things "!
Team Leader : Mr. Edwards: Is this going to be like Indiana where you said you were going to the basketball courts to work on your "inside game "?
Edwards: I actually did need work on my "lay-ups".
Team Leader: Or San Jose , where you said you wanted to go in through the " back door " of that .....Or Nome, Alaska, where you wanted to travel "doggie-style"?
Edwards: ok, I get the point . You know afterall, I am in New York to "raise"......
Team Leader: Money Mr. Edwards sir.
Edwards: Hey, can you lend me some cab fare I'm late ....And, hmmm, the Secret Service Platinum Card. Thanks . And remember I snuck out on official ("monkey") business.

Poliyical Analyst, S.F. Goldman III, reporting.

MF Global ; Emails of Final Days Transactions Released..You Gotta See This!

Hot news flash...These emails between Jon Corzine and his Chief Financial Officer in Chicago were just released:
CFO: Jon , we're overdrawn again .
JC: Shit! Which bank ?
CFO : JP Morgan. Our "favorite overdraft institution ".
JC: Now I'm really pissed...It's going to cost us $30 in overdraft fees . I wonder, since I'm a a former Wall Street Titan, US Senator and Governor of N.J. , will they waive the $30 fee, or at least half ?
CFO: Jon, JP Morgan not happy. They're threatening to shut down our whole US Operation, embarass you, sling mud on your legacy and eventually force you to lie under oath if we don't cover the overdraft ASAP!
JC: Easier said than done. Hmm, can you float us a quickie loan personally ? Unsecured of course . Worst that can happen is it will get extinguished in Bankruptcy .
CFO: No can do . It's $220 million . Jon , can you lend us some $ from your "Goldman Sachs "mortgage backed securities account "?
JC: $220 million ? Holy shit . You think I'm going to use my own money socked away in "secret Swiss and Grand Cayman bank accounts " avoiding taxes to save this sinking ship ?
CFO: Any better ideas Chief ?
JC: Hold your horses, I'm thinking . (And while I'm busy thinking and stalling start destroying emails and bank records!)
CFO:Done! Well ?
JC: I got it . Why didn't I think of this before?
CFO: Not the old using customer $ , pretending you don't know where the money is really coming from and then if the "shit hits the fan" denying it till the end of the earth ?
JC: You mean we used this one before ?
CFO: Are you kidding JC ? It's your personal favorite . Has kept us going for the past 7 years . You should patent the process .
JC: Ok then . Let's do it ! Remember , I am Sgt Schultz here. I know nothing . Hey you know what? I think the regulators who I have in my pocket and those nitwits on Capitol Hill will buy it .Hopefully the Times will too . Ok, then I guess you know what to do.......

Wall Street reporter Steve Goldman signing off.

Breaking News, Tim Tebow to Play Back-up QB,Fullback, Tightend,Defensive End, Return Punts, Serve as Backup to Jeremy Lin and Act as Jets Chaplain !

So the big press conference was today. The Stage Deli has already named a sandwich after him . His ancestry has been traced to Hackensack 350 years ago and not even a single snap has been taken . All for the bargain price of $2.5 million.
Interesting comment . Rex Ryan was asked where would the Jets play him . Rex said he'll play, " he's a football player "! That reminds me when you asked someone about a girl in high school if she was cute, and the answer was "she's a nice girl ". Get my drift?
So is this town big enough for Jeremy Lin and Tim Tebow? Can they share one pulpit? I mean stage. Will they, Lin and Tim replace "Boomer and Carton " in the morning? Does Tebow like Chinese food ? Living in New York will he become a registered Democrat? Why are you asking me all these questions?
Hey, while I applaud Woody Johnson's business acumen, the jury is still out as to how Tebow will fit in with the Jets . He's a competitor and will probably work harder in the off-season than most.(Not Sanchez you say). Look if if makes 4 or 5 short first downs each week and takes 5 more snaps he can be an asset . Let's hope and pray. I couldn't stop myself. Sorry.
Maybe Mark Sanchez will even let him sleep on his couch.
This has been Jets beat reporter Steve Scoop Goldman reporting.

US Supreme Court ; Justice Kennedy, Nice Job Upholding Accused's Constitutional Protection...You Were "Right On "(Not Right Wing) With Your Vote!

Holy cow! Justice Kennedy , a loyal member of "the Right Wing Five " actually joined the liberal 4 (Ginsberg, Sotomayor et al) and upheld our beloved Constitution .Yes , can you believe it ? Justice Kennedy's vote amazingly resulted in a 5-4 vote in favor of a criminal defendant's right to have "effective legal counsel " during the plea agreement process . Did someone say" no more being sold down the river "?
The most shocking aspect of the vote was that this Supreme Court had been on a steady diet of eliminating individual's constitutional protections ? Scary stuff. Can you imagine if Rick "No Concept " Santorum got in the White House? His Supreme Court Nominees might include Judge Judy, Judge Wapner, Billy Graham Jr., Rick Perry, Ronald McDonald and Sara Palin . A fine group of experienced Jurists as you may well concede .
But for the moment reason, rationality and the strength of the Constitution has defeated the hear no evil, see no evil , say no evil dimwits on the the other side of the bench. Right has defeated wrong...Wait, I'm confused..Right has defeated "Right"..Oh you know what I mean! Keep the" faith" ..Oh sh_t, bad choice of words. Hang(ok no death penalty..I get it) in there!

This has been US Supreme Court analyst S.F. Goldman reporting.

Knicks Win Fourth Straight, Why Did it Take a Coaching Change to Get Maximum Effort From Players?

Hey Mike Woodson is making his presence felt. Defense, effort, defense and more effort are his mottos . Are my eyes deceiving me or are Melo and Amare actually playing defense with effort and intensity? Bottom line with Woodson is if you don't, you'll sit! No matter who you are . Lin is playing under control. Getting familiar with where Melo and Amare like the ball . In this crazy, topsy-turvy season, the Knicks are currently fun to watch.
But one disturbing question comes to mind, why do high-paid professional athletes making "sick money" need a coaching change to put forth maximum effort? Even my friend Joe K , who is almost 60 puts forth maximum defensive effort every game when he plays hoop at the YMCA.
So yes, I'm glad we have effort for the past four games...Will it continue? Time will tell.

Sixers will be a good test tonight...Defense, defense!

Madoff, Wilpon, Katz, Mets, Picard, Bankruptcy Court, District Court....What a Classic "Cluster F__k!

Ding dong the witch is dead. Which old witch ? The wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is dead ! Yes, it's true. After two years of Bankruptcy Court, mediation and District Court, Wilpon et. al and Irving Picard have settled their lawsuit .
While the numbers on paper say $162 million , the reality is that no more than $29 million may actually change hands. Why you say ? Because in addition to the Trustee's claims against Wilpon and Katz, they have claims of their own against Madoff totaling $162 million. So the long and the short of it is, if the Trustee doesn't recover $162 million in the next 3 years for Wilpon's claims then Wilpon and Katz will only have to fork over $29 million to Picard.
This is the biggest Grand Slam the Mets have hit in the last 10 years! Biggest strikeout for Picard.
So what was really accomplished here by Picard? Wilpon and Katz were dragged through the mud. The Mets are in disarray. Picard's law firm earned tens of millions of dollars in fees on this case alone . Judge Rakoff is uniformly recognized as an excellent jurist. And all for what ? A whopping $29 million dollars!
If you ask me I think Picard has been a huge disappointment. Of the nine billion he has recovered, $7 billion was a gift from the billionaire's widow in California. On top of that Picard's law firm has billed a measley $275 million. From the initial claim against Wilpon of $1 billion , $29 million will be paid.
Who were the real stars here? Wilpon's attorneys....That's who!

Let's play ball...Opening day is upon us!

Steve "Scoop " Goldman reporting .