Dear Mom;
I wanted to let you know about my event-filled summer in New York. First, I stayed in a hotel where I had it "maid ". After leaving the hotel quite abruptly and after lunch with my dear daughter , I raced to the airport. While waiting for my plane to take off a nice man from the Police Department even came to the airport to bring me my cell phone I had misplaced and then took me to a New York City Landmark which I learned has some of the " most famous bars in town"; You guessed it, Rikers Island. There I had my own private room, but no housekeeper. Darn it.
After your dear daughter-inlaw paid $5 million to spring me from "Club Rikers", we decided to stay in Manhattan for a while .I have to say the City has gotten quite pricey...it cost us about $200,000 a month to rent a place....and what a rip-off...it had a an all-male cleaning staff. Go figure.
We did get to order in "First Wok" almost every night though,(I fell in love with the "Polynesian Delight "dish) which we enjoyed with $2,000 bottles of French Wine . How I dread Calfornia Merlots..Can't drink em since we saw that movie "Sideways" on the way back from Paris one year.
We were having such a grand time in Manhattan until this lady they call "the victim" started to to talk and tell lie after lie. I asked someone "how do you know when she is lying"? They answered "when you see her lips move"! Oh well, that ruined everything. Because next thing I know we're out of our apartment, Ann gets her $5 million back and we're on a plane back to our beloved France.
I'm exhausted , but I can state with absolute honesty, not one day passed when I didn't blow-dry my hair. While I had quite a summer in New York, I think I'll stay put in Grand Old Paris for a while where I understand they may be "erectING" a statue of me .(no "blow"-dryer , but what can I say). It's good to be home where I'm understood.
Well it's getting late mother...Vive la France!
With love, your son DSK.
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