MF Global Revisited..."Hey Mister Have You Seen My $1.28 Billion?"

Ok, correct me please as soon as I say something that sounds unreasonable (Not yet you knucklehead) . We have MF Global , a major financial institution , run by former Governor and US Senator Jon Corzine . There is over a billion dollars of customer $ missing . There are allegations and evidence that MF Global in it's final desperate days "tapped into client funds " to keep the ship alive. Corzine testifies in Congress and is treated by the members with kid gloves . Actually congratulated for a job well done(You know , effectively destroying the paper trail).
And "all the kings horses and all the kings men " cannot find one , red fu__in cent . MF's official position(I'm gagging) is "we don't know where the $ is"! Still , no indictments...just Bankruptcy business as usual . Lawyers, auditors, accountants and investment bankers getting richer. Corzine is probably planning his next venture already ....Only accepting money from deaf, dumb and blind people from Iowa, over 90 years old with net worths of $50 million and up. Bernie Madoff will be the treasurer, Ivan Boesky the CEO, Michael Milliken will be in charge of investments and Raj Rajaratnam will be in charge of "Research and Development". Can't miss!
So am I missing something here ? Or is there some logical(I meant contrived) explanation to all this?
You know what? I got the answer ..The next time someone asks you for an accounting of funds, just simply turn, look em straight in the eye and say " I honestly don't know where the money is ". Case closed! No further questions .

This has been Wall Street analyst Steve Goldman reporting.

Goldman Memories ; Robert Hegyes at age 60 and Dick Tufeld age 85 Pass Away ?

You must be shrugging your shoulders and crinkling your forehead and all the while saying" who the heck is Robert Hegyes , and who is Dick Tufeld ? Well, before you run to your Google Search key, let me take you on a trip down memory lane. You ready ?
Robert Hegyes played (Juan) "Epstein" the lovable Puerto Rican Jew on "Welcome Back Kotter " alongside Vinnie Barbarino(John Tavolta ) in the mid and late 1970's. Hegyes , who grew up in N.J. died this past weekend after arriving at the hospital in full cardiac arrest. Show brings back fun memories.
So you now ask " who was Dick Tufeld" ? Don't you remember the show Lost in Space ? The Robinson Family. Well , Tufeld was the voice of the talking robot ...His most famous statement was "Danger Will Robinson !" Classic. Remember it like yesterday. I can picture myself now, eating Ring Dings, drinking Yoo-hoo and watching afternoon reruns of Gilligan's Island, The Andy Griffith Show, Hogan's Heroes and Lost in Space . Ah, the good ol days(lol)...No responsibilities, no bills, ...Black and white tv...No cable! Allright, enough already !
Ok, back to work! God Bless!

Greg Kelly, You Couldn't Keep Your Pe__er in Your Pants....Your Current "Headache " is No Ones Fault But Your Own!

Merriam Webster defines " horniness " as an intense sexual desire . Synonyms include ardor, concupiscence ,eros, eroticism , itch, lustfulness and passion. And Greg, let's add in "stupid, careless, naive, dumb, dumb, stupid and of course(not inter-course silly) instant gratification...Oh yeah , and under the definition of "bad judgment " in the dictionary is your picture .
Greg, was she that hot ? Was shtupping on top of "Blacks Law Dictionary " really what it had cracked up to be ? Was the liason considered billable time for her ? How many times did you mention you were a Channel 5 Anchor and Police Commissioner Kelly's son during foreplay ? For all this trouble I HOPE YOU DID IT AT LEAST TWICE .
And Greg when did you forget you were a decorated Marine, respected news anchor and son of Commissioner Kelly ? Before the first drink, after the first kiss, ...right from the get go ? S-T-U-P-I-D !
Hopefully you'll extricate yourself from this nightmare , save your career and make peace(not piece of ass you dimwit) with your daddy. Rosanna Scotto is beside herself [literally].
And remember , next time you get that horny, just go to an Asian massage place...Much cheaper...And always a "happy ending"!

News correspondent Steve Goldman reporting.

Thaddeus Jiminez, 32 Year Old Chicago Man Awarded $25 Million By a Jury For Serving 16 Years in Prision ,and Then Exonerated!

Thaddeus Jiminez congratulations . After wrongfully serving 16 years in prision resulting from the misconduct of Chicago Police Officers , a jury recently awarded him $25 million dollars. Details are not available as to whether defendants made any settlement offers before the jury rendered it's verdict . The award basically compensates Mr. Jiminez to the tune of $1 and a half million dollars for each year of incarceration .
Interesting question, would the average 16 year old agree to spend 16 years in jail in exchange for $25 million and life of luxury for the next 50 years? Depends on you are and what are your prospects?
In any event the saga is far from over. Still have post-trial motions, an appeal...And get this, Mr. Jiminez was recently convicted of drug possession and is facing possible time.
I truly hope there is a " happy ending " somewhere for this young guy. He's been through a lot!

Your thoughts?

Nation's Dumbest Moves...South Carolina Citizens Voting for Gingrich is Right Up There With Their Secession From the Union in December 1860.

I gotta tell you, I have lost so much respect for the South Carolina Republicans who voted for Gingrich and handed him a victory in the recent Republican Presidential Primary. Everytime I see his face or hear his name I get the Hebe Gebes....He's weird, sneaky, unpredictable, loose-lipped, not fit to lead and looks a lot like Humpty Dumpty..Who will be his running mate? The Pillsbury Dough Boy?
South Carolina hasn't done anything this assinine since seceding from the Union on December 20th, 1860 . And we know how that turned out! Oy vey. So what could the people from the beautiful state of South Carolina have been thinking when they supported Gingrich? Was it a prank ? Was the field that weak?(yes) . I honestly don't know.

Wait , I think I have the answer . South Carolina is planning on seceding from the Union again, and this time instead of Jefferson Davis they want Newt (Pasty Face ) Gingrich to lead the Confederacy...Here we go again.......

So Giants Are NFC Champs...Where Does This All Put Eli in Historical Perspective ?

That was one tremendous game(well actually games) yesterday . I was uptight the whole game... Couldn't really enjoy my Heineken . The crowd, the weather, West Coast Sunday night game, the Giant's improbable run, Super Bowl at stake, great defenses , every possession critical, overtime.....and of course Eli!!! Seventh game winning drive for him this season. Total, 1000 % "team effort"! Now on to Indy, in what may be one of the highest rated Super Bowl's ever. NBC is drooling all over itself!
So without rehashing one of the greatest Giant wins of all-time , the question that comes to mind is where does all this put Eli in terms of history. First off, he's had the greatest year so far of any Giant quarterback ever . If the Giants win the Super Bowl in two weeks , here's my three questions for you ;
1. Is he the greatest Giant QB ever?
2. With two "rings " how would you compare him all-time vs."big brother Peyton" ? and,
3. If he has another 5-7 strong years , does he make Canton ?
I think all 3 queries should stir up some real healthy debate . Don't know the answers yet....
But hey, let's revisit them after the Super Bowl ..Lets go Big Blue!

NFL Conference Championship Games...Expect Two Close Ones!

So we've been through the "lockout ", lawsuits, a new Collective Bargaining Agreement, a shortened preseason, a full 16 game schedule, 2 rounds of playoffs and it all comes down to Sunday for invitations to the biggest sporting event in America,....Yes the Super Bowl. Ravens -New England , followed by the Giants -49ers. Two excellent matchups... Networks can't be too unhappy either !
So I won't bore you with my analysis of the games . I'm sure you've heard that all week.

I will get straight to my predictions . New England 27-20; Giants 23-21.
Hoping for two close, exciting games. Enjoy.