Hookers, partying , travel, drinking to excess and passing out in the hotel hallway(Amsterdam). No I'm not talking about "Animal House ". I'm referring to the Presidential Secret Service ! Laughable, sad and pathetic. Three words that come to mind.
Wanted : Young, horny, adventerous college grads. Guard POTUS by day and chase PU___Y by night. See the world. Experience local culinary (not cun____gis you nitwit) delights. Drink wine, beer and shots. Find babes. Every color, shape, size and ethnicity . Dance the night away. All courtesy of Uncle Sam. Car crashes are optional. You get the picture.....
So whether it's been in Columbia, Miami or Amsterdam our "Agents ", sworn to protect , (not er__t silly) have had a hard time staying in line . There must be a solution. Perhaps a chaperone would do the trick . Sarah Palin?
Steve Goldman reporting
Showing posts with label Secret Service Agents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Secret Service Agents. Show all posts
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Obama In Bangkok, I Bet The Secret Service "Advance Team " Is Having Fun!
It was not too long ago that Obama's Secret Service "advance team " was involved in "hookergate " in Colombia . I guess they had too much time on their hands , We'll I alluded to the possibilty of a Bangkok trip and how it could really be great reality TV, "Agents Gone Wild "!
Well lo and behold, The President and his entourage are on an Asia "swing" and just spent a day or so in Bangkok; arguably the Happy Ending capital of the World. I wonder if the Security Detail had to take a vow of celibacy . How much time off did they have there? What is the exchange rate ? Do they take Visa? Don't you think these thoughts have crossed the minds of all the travelling Secret Service(Not Escort Service you ninny!) Agents?
I'm sure the security detail will be on their best behavior and will act professionally at all times on the trip.(Professional being the key word here). I suppose the Agents will not even be able to sample the local delicacies other than an "all you can eat" Thai buffet. Too bad.
Oh well, there's always Cartegena again next year. Happy Thanksgiving.
Steve Goldman reporting.
Well lo and behold, The President and his entourage are on an Asia "swing" and just spent a day or so in Bangkok; arguably the Happy Ending capital of the World. I wonder if the Security Detail had to take a vow of celibacy . How much time off did they have there? What is the exchange rate ? Do they take Visa? Don't you think these thoughts have crossed the minds of all the travelling Secret Service(Not Escort Service you ninny!) Agents?
I'm sure the security detail will be on their best behavior and will act professionally at all times on the trip.(Professional being the key word here). I suppose the Agents will not even be able to sample the local delicacies other than an "all you can eat" Thai buffet. Too bad.
Oh well, there's always Cartegena again next year. Happy Thanksgiving.
Steve Goldman reporting.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Secret Service Agents Wanted...New Job Benefits, Relax at Local Bordellos While Guarding the President!
One of the the most stressful jobs on the globe has to be a Secret Service Agent on "Presidential Detail". So it would seem natural that the agents find a way to "blow off steam"(Blow being the key word here ). What better way to relieve stress than to "lay back", drink whiskey and hire local "ladies of the night " just 2 days before the President "comes " to town. Hey, good to pump(ok bad choice of words) money into the local economy.
This is exactly what 11 Secret Service Agents and "Specialized Military Personnel " are accused of doing in Cartegena, Colombia a couple days before our President arrived in town for a conference. I understand things would have been kept under wraps(not under the sheets you dimwit) if one ornary agent didn't short-change one of the ladies. Obviously "the locals " don't provide a discount upon being shown " a Secret Service Union ID card ". What a shame . So as the story goes, this one agent tried to pay his escort $30 rather than the customary $250. I guess satisfaction is not guaranteed.
To add insult to injury, these knucklehead agents took their guests up to their rooms. Oh I forgot. They probably left their Secret Service condoms with the Presidential Seal in their rooms. Can you envision this scene ? Agents, hookers, guns, surveillance equipment..Yikes. I wonder if the agents made their ladies wear bullet-proof vests while they did it. May be a little cumbersome if they're on top. Oh , you get the point.
In any event , after enjoying the local delicacies, I'm glad the agents were able to "zip up" and protect "POTUS ". I'll bet there's a waiting list for the stop in Bangkok!
Presidential analyst Steve Goldman reporting.
This is exactly what 11 Secret Service Agents and "Specialized Military Personnel " are accused of doing in Cartegena, Colombia a couple days before our President arrived in town for a conference. I understand things would have been kept under wraps(not under the sheets you dimwit) if one ornary agent didn't short-change one of the ladies. Obviously "the locals " don't provide a discount upon being shown " a Secret Service Union ID card ". What a shame . So as the story goes, this one agent tried to pay his escort $30 rather than the customary $250. I guess satisfaction is not guaranteed.
To add insult to injury, these knucklehead agents took their guests up to their rooms. Oh I forgot. They probably left their Secret Service condoms with the Presidential Seal in their rooms. Can you envision this scene ? Agents, hookers, guns, surveillance equipment..Yikes. I wonder if the agents made their ladies wear bullet-proof vests while they did it. May be a little cumbersome if they're on top. Oh , you get the point.
In any event , after enjoying the local delicacies, I'm glad the agents were able to "zip up" and protect "POTUS ". I'll bet there's a waiting list for the stop in Bangkok!
Presidential analyst Steve Goldman reporting.
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